


watch me struggle (from several rooms away)

by requiemzoe



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Ghost Heather Chandler, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 05:14:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11456727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/requiemzoe/pseuds/requiemzoe
Summary: heather facetimes veronica at 3:09 am, crying and asking for her to come over.(she does.)





	watch me struggle (from several rooms away)

heather's hands shake as she pulls out the charger from her iphone, almost dropping it due to the stinging in her wrists. she opens up facetime, trembling yellow-painted fingernails clicking against the screen, and taps on "ronnie" lightly. the phone rings through her large bathroom, making it echo. 

veronica picks up on the third ring. she seems to be laying in bed, from what heather can see, with the covers pulled up to her shoulders. "hey, princess."

even in her panicked state, heather blushes at the nickname. "hi, ronnie."

"what's going on?"

"the...it's loud."

"all in your head again?"

heather nods, and veronica pouts a little. "you wanna talk?"

"no...well, not that i don't wanna talk, because i do. it just..."

veronica's eyebrows furrow, and heather notes that she looks like a lost puppy and smiles sadly. "what? did you slip again?"

heather just nods again, blinking and letting a tear fall into her lap, onto her yellow sleep shorts. 

"oh. o-oh, okay, is it... is it okay if i come over?"

the blonde feels her heart leap at the chance to see her favorite brunette (sorry, martha) and the concept of having her in her bed, wiping away her tears and kissing her hair. "can you? please?" she asks eagerly, looking hopefully into the camera.

"mhmm. i have a car, remember?"

"oh, yeah. guess i forgot." she frowns, "i always forget the things i don't wanna, and the things i do wanna forget just stick."

she sees veronica smile, and hears movement as she turns her bedside lamp on. there's her girl- clad in a shirt that's somehow still too big from 8th grade year and black panties. "wacky macky." she teases lightly, leaving her phone propped up on her desk and letting heather watch her look for pants.

not that she's complaining. veronica with no pants on is one of her favorite sights. 

"ronnie?"

"hmm?"

"'m tired. can you hurry up?"

veronica shoots her a mock-glare as she slips her other leg into some black leggings and picks up her phone. "i'm trying, my love." heather smiles at the pet name and moves to stretch her legs out so she isn't hugging her knees anymore, "how long have you been sitting on your bathroom floor?" 

"maybe, like, 12."

"heather, it's 3."

"yeah."

heather can hear veronica's window open and the familiar grunts of her sliding out- this isn't the first time that she's called her at an ungodly hour to come over, after all. however, no matter how much heather hopes, she never gets that kiss that she won't admit to herself that she wants. they usually just cuddle among heather's yellow sheets, and talk until the sun comes up, or sometimes they fall asleep together. those are the best times- heather feels signifigantly better falling asleep when she's wrapped up in veronica's arms, and they don't judge each other at all when the other is woken up, screaming and crying, from being haunted by their dead best friends. and yeah, maybe it's kinda nice to be able to stare at veronica when she's asleep. not in a creepy way, though. veronica is just really pretty, and she's just appreciating it. right? 

she can hear heather chandler- " _god, heather, you're such a pillowcase!_ ", and sighs. she's so tired of fighting. she's so tired of talking back. 12 minutes pass, according to the clock on her bathroom wall, and veronica seems to notice that heather is crying again- she's a quiet crier, all sniffles and whimpers- and speaks again. "macky?"

heather jumps a little, wiping her cheeks quickly. "hm?"

"open the door, please." then she chuckles a little, like it's a joke only she understands, and before heather can ask what's so funny, she cuts her off. "oh, wait, key under the mat. duh."

she hangs up the facetime call, and waits for her brown-haired angel to come into the bathroom and scoop her up like usual.

veronica walks into the bathroom and her eyes widen a little. "oh, no, heather, baby."

heather is almost confused for a second before she follows her line of site to her wrists and her stomach. oh, yeah. those she's wearing a sports bra, so the cuts on her stomach are pretty obvious, and blood is running down the sides of her body and dripping onto the white tile. her wrists aren't bleeding as much- she did those last, when she was already coming down from her breakdown.

veronica drops to her knees, and heather immediately goes to hug her, looking to bury herself in veronica's neck. she moves away, though, and instead opens up the first aid kit that the family keeps under the sink and pulls out the antiseptic and cotton pads. "made a mess, didn't you, macky?"

heather just cries a little more and rests her back against the wall. veronica's tone is caring as she asks quietly, "y'wanna go to your room?" 

she considers it for a moment, and then shakes her head. "jus' wanna get it over with, ronnie." 

veronica nods sympathetically, and soaks a cotton pad with antiseptic as she talks. "you've never done it on your stomach, have you?"

"oh, i have. just... not recently. around freshman year." when mom and dad split, she adds in her head. she doesn't need to say it out loud for veronica to know.

she's not lost in her thoughts for too long, because then veronica is straddling her and wow, this is nice, she thinks. "want me to sing?"

heather nods, closing her eyes and waiting for the stinging to start. she jumps when the cold pad touches her skin that feels like it's on fire, and she tries to lose herself in the feeling of veronica's weight on her lap and her voice. she sings can't help falling in love, like she always does, and heather cries a little more. she can practically hear heather duke and heather chandler, calling her a baby.

as soon as it started, it's over, and soon enough heather is all bandaged up. she smiles softly- veronica, always coming to fix her up. "thanks, ronnie." 

veronica just nods, putting everything away and throwing away the blood-soaked cotton pads. "anything for you." she adds, scooping up heather bridal-style, the way that always makes her giggle, and carrying her to bed. "i'm gonna go take a piss, okay? y'want some water, or anything?"

heather shakes her head, not feeling like she can do anything but lay down and cry right now. preferably cry in veronica's arms. the tears start falling again as veronica shuts the door behind her.  _"god, you're such a crybaby, heather! get over it! man up! the only reason you should be crying is because veronica is straight as a ruler, and she'll never want you! look at you! you're pathetic! your hair is a mess, you're all bloody and gross- you're gonna die alone."  
_

"shut up, heather. leave me alone."

and she does- there's no further comments from heather chandler for a little while. "she's wrong. ronnie loves me. she calls me baby and princess and wacky macky, and that has to mean _something._ " she mumbles to herself, picking at the edge of a bandage. she hums happily when veronica comes back into the room, clutching a plastic water bottle that's still sweating from being in the fridge.

she immediately feels her eyes start to water again. she doesn't want water. she doesn't want anything but veronica and sleep right now.

"ah, no, put your bottom lip back. no need to pout," veronica mumbles as she sits on the edge of the bed. heather scoots her legs to the right to make room for her. "just take a few sips for me, yeah?"

heather just stares down at the blanket, picking at the loose thread on her quilt as she always does. 

"heather, all that crying isn't good for you, angel. you're gonna be all dehydrated and you're gonna feel super icky in the morning. please?"

she knows veronica's right, and she reminds herself of it as she uncaps the bottle. sniffling, she takes a few large gulps and downs almost half the water. veronica smiles proudly at her and takes her leggings off before climbing into bed with the smaller girl.

they take their usual position- heather's head on veronica's chest, veronica's arms wrapped safely around her, legs intertwined. "you wanna talk now?" heather shakes her head, closing her eyes and listening to veronica breathe for a second, the only other sound than her fan in the dark and quiet room.

"just heather again, her being loud, and," she pauses for a second to sigh and search for the right words, "intrusive as usual."

veronica scoffs. "that fucker."

heather smiles widely against veronica's chest, and they return to comfortable silence for a little while. veronica's voice is raspy and quiet when she speaks again, and heather knows the tone- the one she uses when she's about to do something risky. she doesn't have to look at her to know her nose twitches for the same reason. "what's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"i think i like you, ronnie."

she doesn't think- she knows. she's known for a long time, since jd blew himself up and she had invited veronica and her new friend martha over to watch the princess bride, which she hadn't seen before. she ended up enjoying it, but she tended to pay a little more attention to veronica and the way she gradually got closer and closer to heather during the movie. "you're warm." she had mumbled into veronica's ear, then cringed because who even says that? veronica had just smiled though, and wrapped her arms around heather's tiny waist and squeezed. "you are too, macky. like a lil' ball of sunshine. _my_ little ball of sunshine."

heather's eyes widen, and she thanks god that the lights are off and veronica can't see her expression as what she said catches up to her. heather chandler's voice rings in her ears, _"god, you messed it all up_ again, _mac! i'm not even surprised."_

"say something, please." she adds, because it's way too quiet in here for her anxious ears. 

"i like you too."

heather takes the phrase and mentally saves that moment- the way veronica's voice sounded and the way she didn't say "i think". 

"gosh, about time. i was wondering when you'd make a move, ron-ron."

"oh _please_ , heather. i've been calling you all kinds of pet names for months. you thought i didn't notice how you blushed every time?"

heather's cheeks betray her yet again, and she flushes bright red. "whatever."

"and i was gonna ask you if you liked me, just now."

"i know."

"what? how did you know?"

"i have my ways." heather says teasingly.

veronica just hums and the smaller girl scoots impossibly closer to her. her lips are so close to veronica's neck, it would be so easy to just- she leans forward and presses a kiss there. then another. then another. i. love. you.

there's no verbal response from veronica, even though the blonde feels her tremble and smile widely, so heather decides to just go for it. after all, veronica is in her bed. when will she get this chance again? _"probably the next time you have a total meltdown and call your knight in shining blue armor to come rescue you from your bathroom floor."_ heather chandler scoffs.

she shuts her eyes tight, making sure to wipe her mind and let nothing of heather chandler remain. then, she sits up and straddles veronica, who's looking up at her like she's an angel. "hi." she whispers, smiling, because anything other than whispering seems like it would shatter the atmosphere. "greetings and salutations." veronica says back in a deep voice, mocking her dead ex.

that imitation alone is enough to set a fire in her belly, to make her want to forget jason dean ever existed.

she leans down and kisses veronica, sliding her small fingers easily into her hair. veronica sits up too, resting her hands lightly on heather's waist, making sure not to touch the bandages from earlier. veronica is the first to deepen it, sliding her tongue gently against heather's bottom lip. the blonde opens obediently, tugging a little at the roots of veronica's hair the way she knows she likes (sleepovers with the heathers, the group chat, and late night conversations while she ran her hands through veronica's hair had served her well.).

she groans into heather's mouth, mumbling "how are you so good at that" and sliding her lips down to the pale skin of her neck. she finds her pulse point easily, and prods it with her tongue roughly before nibbling on it enough to make heather squirm.

 _"ronnie_..."

and veronica is just so charmed with the way that heather's mouth forms her name that she just has to kiss her again.


End file.
